I was previously floating along nicely because I had a student teacher. She did very well, and I took every opportunity to pass on my knowledge to her. At times I felt harsh. I make myself feel better by reminding myself that I was only trying to show her the positive and negative aspects of how she was planning, teaching and grading. She knew her content very well, but since the practicum was so short she didn't have the time to really start 'owning' the curriculum with respect to creating, tinkering and drafting up her own materials such as presentations and activities for students. It is a shame that student teaching programs only provide a short two or three month experience in the classroom. I think they should be more time to really see how the inner workings of a school and its students and faculty.
I guess, however, that people can't just attend graduate school and also work as a student teacher all year long. I did it, but I was fortunate to have the means to do so. Not everyone has that luxury and bills do pile up, of course. Just as I managed that crazy year of student teaching, I'll manage without her now, stress or no stress. I'm enjoying my classes, despite the good coming with the bad. That always seems to be the way of it at school. There is a lot of joy and pain. As Carl Sagan said;
“You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.”
This helps when I have trouble describing what it is like teaching, because it comes pretty close to how I feel. Teaching is lonely, and shows me some harsh truths about humans. But, more often than not, the beautiful dreams shine through the horrible nightmares.
